Do you ever look at your relationships and wonder if they are equal? If it isn’t equal, does this matter to you? There are going to be different layers to the intimacy that you share with your partner and when you give someone your heart or take it a step further and marry them, you will want to know exactly what you are getting yourself into.
A relationship can be something that is very equal or not equal at all. If you have an equal relationship, chances are that you share the responsibilities in the finances, the household chores and even making decisions. You put extra effort into making sure that you are strong together and that you share a good bond.
When people feel that they are partners, they feel that their relationship and their feelings are valued. They feel that they have a partner that respects them and that understands them. Being equal in a relationship will allow both people in the relationship to hear and to be heard. It allows people to share the responsibilities of being in a relationship.
There are ways that you can tell if your relationship is unbalanced and here are some ways:
Unbalanced Relationship
Look at your life with your partner. Who makes the most choices in things that happen? Who decides on how money is spent or what restaurants you will go out to eat at? Who is the one that normally is quiet when questions are asked? Who makes most of the decisions? Do you find that you are someone that has a hard time saying what you want in the relationship?
When you look at your relationship, it is important to see if the relationship is balanced. When one partner feels that they no longer matter, it can cause the couple to have problems. One way to solve this is to make sure that you are communicating and that you are looking at things together.
Expectations
Make sure that you figure out what the expectations are in the relationship. Both you and your partner should be able to talk about what kind of visions you have for each other. What do you both want in the relationship? Talking about this can help to find balance.
Disagreements
When there is an argument in the relationship, who is in control? Do you worry about upsetting your partner so when a fight happens you stay quiet? There should be both active listeners and talkers in the relationship and it is important that everyone in the relationship has a chance to be heard.
Look at the Relationship
Take time each month to really sit down and talk. Figure out where your relationship is going and look at what has changed. Avoid being in a period where there is no change or where things become stagnate.
Life is full of routines, but you need to make sure that things are actually working out in the relationship. See where the relationship is going and what changes need to be made.
Self-Care
Make sure that you and your partner are both getting the self-care that you need. If you need time alone, take mini vacations away from each other.
Do not spend all of your free time together and take time to go out with friends and to do activities that you enjoy alone.
Gender Roles
When there are two people working and two people living together, this means that there needs to be two people doing the chores. Men and women both can clean up the house and cook. Do not let the gender roles become dominate in the relationship.
Different Perspectives
Every relationship is different and not any relationship looks exactly the same. Learn to compromise and work things out so that you are both happy. Take a chance and let the relationship work towards being better. Learn to communicate with each other and make sure that both people feel respected.
No relationship will be completely balanced but make sure it is what you both want. Take on the responsibilities that you should be taking and make sure that your partner is being responsible as well.
Interact and talk and when you do, the relationship will continue to grow and be better.
