The Reason I Am Failing To Be Obedient Is….

Have you ever felt God telling you to do something and you just didn’t take the time to do it? That’s where I am now. My life is so congested with distractions I keep putting off doing the thing He wants me to do. I’ve had this book for about two years and have yet to finish it, not because it isn’t a good read but I know how it ends. Morrie dies. Tuesdays With Morrie has been on my nightstand for months now but I have yet to finish it. I feel compelled to read it and it comes to my mind every day but I haven’t taken the time. And maybe just maybe I dread the end.

My mom died of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) just like Morrie. As I read about his downhill slide I am sad. He went through the very same horrible things my mom endured. The thing is his attitude was so positive that I am in awe of him. My mom just went to bed when she found out she had the disease. I so wanted her to continue living the best quality of life she could but depression took over. If I were in her place I am certain I would do the very same things she did. She was ashamed because she could not contain the saliva in her mouth. She wiped her mouth a hundred times a day. Mom lost her ability to eat and had a stomach tube put in a year before she died. It broke my heart to watch her feed herself Ensure instead of having a real meal. Her taste buds were alive but she could not swallow any type of food without choking. Eventually she lost the ability to speak so the occupational therapist brought over a machine that spoke for her. She typed in the words she wanted to say and out came a mechanical voice saying the words she could not.

Mom had the type of ALS that took everything else first before it atrophied the muscles in the legs, arms, and even the chest, making it hard to breathe.  Most ALS victims die suffocation from atrophied lung muscles. Morrie had the paralyzing type of ALS. His muscles went first and eventually he lost his appetite for food. He became a little frail man but he continued the interviews because he was determined to finish the book. Even through choking on the thick phlegm that built up in his throat he continued because he thought it was so important to leave a legacy and help others however he could before he died.

So how I got off on the subject of my mom I don’t know but it does me good to write about her. It is a kind of healing. She was a wonderful woman and I watched her suffer from a devastating disease that I never want to witness again. I am comforted with the fact she is in the arms of Jesus right now.

Back to Morrie. Anyway I plan to finish the book on my vacation next week. I will read on the plane and during any down time I have. God is prompting me to finish this book so I am certain He has His reasons. I will be obedient to this call and let you know how it turns out.

As I finish the book I encourage you to tackle that thing God has called you to do, no matter how small or insignifcant it might seem. Go for it… I am.

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