Attracting the Love You Deserve

Attracting the Love You Deserve

The outside world serves as a mirror for our true selves and what is happening within us. Many of us end up frustrated when looking for love with the right partner. It can be exhausting to continually date the wrong people and feel like giving up on love. Some people will even settle instead of continuing to look. The solution to these feelings can be found within ourselves. It is important to heal from the inside out so we can understand why the wrong people are always attracted. Humans are capable of manifesting our personal desires, but if our thoughts are not aligned, then they will not come to pass.

We are born whole, but as we grow and have unmet needs, we lose pieces of the authentic self. As these holes develop, we build walls of protection so we do not feel what is missing. This can inadvertently push away a chance at love or love in general. This is because needing love in the past created pain. We will lie to ourselves about what we want and need, which in turn limits our dreams and accomplishments. We can easily start to believe we are unlovable, incapable, unworthy, or not good enough. We walk around creating experiences to validate our feelings, but end up doing the opposite.

Over time we may fail in many ways. Things like not getting a dream job, being rejected in love, overachieving to fill a void, being promiscuous, and becoming addicted are part of this turmoil filled process. When we try to avoid these feelings, we are hit with even more intense feelings. We may long for freedom from this emptiness, but have no idea where to start.

The root of this feeling, this evil, originates in this belief about ourselves. These are limiting beliefs. We can create a whole new self-based on these limiting beliefs, but eventually burn out from a cycle of suffering that is created. When we finally reach the point of hating this cycle, we can start to look for a better way.

Relationships serve as the biggest mirror into our lives. The way another person can make you feel is actually a reference to what you believe about yourself. No one has the power to make you feel in any way, it must already be present inside of you. If your current relationship makes you feel insignificant, shameful, or guilty, this is likely a carry over from childhood.

When you learn to see yourself in the reflection of others, you no longer need to harbor harsh feelings toward the other person. The problem is inside of you and your limiting beliefs. The more aware you become, the more powerful your beliefs can become as you correct your thinking. The universe gives us what we put into it, so we must put exactly what we want out into the world.

Basically, the Universe gives in response to our personal beliefs, actions, and thoughts. Even if what you want is something different, you may not be putting the right things into the Universe. If you want respect, but do not have self-respect, the Universe will not give you respect in relationships. Whatever our deep-down beliefs happen to be is what we truly think we deserve. When we make ourselves aware of the issue, we can embrace healing and release the blocks.

Releasing Blocks

There are four basic steps to releasing the blocks that are holding back finding love in your life. These are explained below.


We must be aware of our thoughts, beliefs, and actions because they tend to form a pattern in life. This is especially true if you tend to have the same feelings in multiple situations. These experiences are messengers about our emotions and when recognized, they are the starting point for healing. We cannot heal what we do not acknowledge. Once the experienced is recognized, we can dig deeper to find the limiting belief behind it.

The more emotional an experience is, the stronger the lesson about self may be. Do not bother to judge your thoughts, but listen to them to better understand yourself. This allows for healing. As you heal, you will start to experience self-acceptance, approval, and unconditional self-love. This awareness can help you be free and much less freer. This also allows us to take back the power lost in childhood and control what life brings to us.


There are many things in life that we cannot control. Things like your imprinted beliefs or where we are at the moment cannot be changed, but we can change how we react. Accept where you are as the beginning and move forward from there. Continuing to blame and punish only hurts us, not others. We must instead get rid of should statements and release the pressure we impose on ourselves. This allows for acceptance of the current situation without resentment. We must accept this to be able to change the negative beliefs.


As we explore our believes, we must be sensitive to the painful areas. We will want to run away from the imperfect parts of Self to alleviate suffering, but instead we must acknowledge and accept the pain, then let it go. Forgive yourself with the knowledge that you did your best. Have compassion and love these parts so they can heal in compassion. Integrate the pain so that it no longer dictates how your life goes while opening up space for new blessings.

Unconditional Self-Love

Self-love is of the utmost importance when healing and in general. Loving yourself is simply about honoring the needs you have and placing yourself above others in your life. This is not selfish, but allowing yourself to be taken care of and getting to truly know yourself. Others learn how to treat you based on how you treat yourself, so we need to treat ourselves as our best friends.

Healing can only begin when we get to the core of what originally hurt us. This means we need to replay the past so that we can heal and be free of it, knowing what went wrong. Healing the past is powerful as you forgive and start putting new patterns in place. This will take time and patience, but we need rid of the emotions that no longer serve a purpose in our lives.

One technique to help with the release of limiting beliefs is through the practice of affirmations around those believes. This is simply an emotionally supportive statement that can be used to affirm the good in our lives and what we desire. Write these affirmations out 20 times while repeating them. Take things a step further by setting a reminder on your phone or saying them at a specific time each day. You can also look at yourself in the mirror and repeat them.

When we commit to our own healing, using the outside world as a mirror, blocks will be released and you can attract the love that is deserves. You can now look for love as a whole person. While it will not be easy, it will be well worth the effort.

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