Having good self-esteem is important to someone’s mental and even physical health. It helps to strengthen the relationships that you can have with other people including friends and family. Having a good self esteem is important because otherwise we are always trying to find someone to validate our worthiness. This isn’t to say that only single people suffer from low self-esteem, because as long as someone has a person in their life that is loving and caring, even a parent or sibling, then they can help them to feel worthy, rather they are single or not.
The identity that we have makes a difference in what we see about ourselves. When we can see how important self esteem is, we will try harder to build and strengthen our feelings and that of other people that we love.
Here are a few tips to build a positive se3lf-esteem:
- Stop criticizing. Relationships that are unhealthy tend to have a lot of judgement. People are always blaming and feeling shameful. There are some things that we realize that we need help with and it can cause us to feel that we are flawed. It is important to make sure that you know the difference between shame and guilt. Both of these feelings can happen when we feel like we have done something wrong, but one can make you feel like there is something wrong with you, while the other says you did something wrong. Sometimes it makes us feel inadequate.
It is not unusual for people that are arguing a lot to have the habit of being critical. That is why attacking each other’s character can hurt the sense of self of that person and can make them feel ashamed or worthless. Even if you do this short term, you are harming your relationship. If your partner had childhood emotional wounds then you are creating negative feelings for them by doing this.
- Be accepting. Being able to accept someone means that you can accept the traits that they have. Some of the traits include openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. These are traits that are most likely going to stay the same for your whole life. By criticizing someone with these traits you are causing them harm. It is important that partners learn to say positive things and to not give the illusion that their partner is messy or rude. It is important to make sure that the interactions that you have with your loved ones are not causing bad feelings. It is important to accept each other and not to judge.
- Praise each other. Speaking kind and encouraging words can be one of the ways that we show love. This gives an impact that is very positive for someone that has self esteem problems. Talking about their creativity or their imagination can help to raise them up. Try to comment on their sense of being.
- Don’t try to be perfect. Raising children in homes where they want perfection can cause children to be afraid of making mistakes. They can feel that they always need to be right and if they fail then they will feel hopeless. It causes them to have problems with their self and can cause them to feel that they can’t make their family proud. Try to tell them that no one is perfect and not expect more from them than they can give you.
If you have a relationship with someone and they are special to you, try to grow with them. Communicate with them and show them that you love them. Your words can have a positive or negative affect on their lives. Try to lift each other up and build their self esteem along with your own.