Though some of us may think otherwise, we cannot hate ourselves to create a version of ourselves we can love. There are times when we are toughest on ourselves by comparing our specifics with those of others. We may find ourselves unlovable or not good enough. We may feel we do not and cannot deserve the good things in life. It is tough to face a culture that compares people to others on social media. We are expected to measure up in the areas of marriage, finance, friends, social status, and fashion. The list could continue on.
Sometimes, in the midst of dealing with all the negative self-talk, we forget about the wonderful pieces of ourselves. We get trapped in the inner critic mode that destroys our self-esteem to the point we struggle to function. Then, hopefully, something happens to snap us out of the self-defeating mode and back into reality. This reality is that we all have something to offer the world. When we are tempted to be too harsh on ourselves, we can remember the following things to get back to the best of ourselves.
Everyone Compares
We are all too aware that we compare ourselves to others, but the reassuring fact is that others are doing the same. Those who appear to have it all, do not come close to it. When we take the time to truly look at others with compassion and understanding, rather than harsh, critical judgment and even jealousy, we see them as human. All humans are beautifully imperfect and each of us go through similar challenges in life.
The Lying Man
Believe it or not, our mind lies. When we listen to everything that pops into our minds, we can become very discouraged. Thoughts are just that, thoughts. It is unhealthy and self-defeating to give such power to the negative ones.
More Right than Wrong
We are all experts at focusing on the negative, but the truth is as long as we are breathing, we have a great deal going for us. It is hard to accept anything positive, especially love, when we are already down, depressed, and self-hating. When we learn to shift perspective and focus on the good, more good can enter. This is a gift to ourselves.
Make Peace with Now
We all want the future to be better, but until we can be content where we are, we cannot move forward and upward. Being satisfied is not about never improving, it is about being present in the moment so you can find peace and then journey forward.
Progress Over Perfection
One of the harshest and most common issues when it comes to self-loathing is that we want to get everything “right” no matter what we happen to be doing. When we are totally focused on perfection, we close ourselves off to others and to learning. This is because when mistakes do occur, and they will, we feel worthless because a mistake was made. What we need to remember instead is that working toward a goal and putting ourselves out into the world is an accomplishment on its own. This is true even if we fail often. Instead of focusing on perfection, take the time to pat yourself on the back for making progress of any kind.
No Chance of Hating Yourself into Self-Love
No matter how pushy we are, telling ourselves we are failures will not make us more successful. Even if we tell ourselves we are falling short, it is not enough to pull us up higher. Being lovable and worthy is not based in feeling the opposite. Though it sounds simple, it can be tough. We need to love ourselves so we can change enough to love ourselves more. You are enough just the way you are today and a dash of self-love will help you remember that throughout life.
