Having a friend with benefits can seem like fun, but you need firm rule to ensure no one ends up getting hurt.
Here are 17 essential rules to make sure you both are having fun and avoiding pain:
- Be 100% prepare for this dynamic: Prior to getting into bed with each other, set and honor your ground rules as well as their meaning. If you are one to develop feelings easily never be a friend with benefits!
- Be picky with your special friend: Both partners must understand and accept all the rules of engagement. Check in with each other regularly to make sure you both are still on the same page. Avoid selecting a co-worker, close friend, or ex to avoid any complications.
- Make sure you are friends first! Before you are intimate with anyone, make sure you are friends first. This helps see each other as people and understand how your minds work. Connections like this provides a sense of safety and security to the dynamic.
- Set clear guidelines: It helps to define your dynamic. Set realistic goals and don’t expect for the relationship to blossom quickly, even if one or both of you develop feelings. Know there is no obligations and you both are having fun together.
- Define clear limits: Boundaries ensure you both are on the same physical and emotional page, as well as ensure the relationship works well.
- Have regular check-ins: You don’t need constant contact throughout the day, but have regular calls or texts. Periodic communication ensures you both feel respected and appreciated. Plus, it helps both parties to never feel like only a booty call.
- You never go on dates together: Seeing each other for coffee or brunch can muddy your mindset and make you feel like you guys are dating. Getting together socially is something for people in romantic relationships, when you should be focus on your bedroom fun.
- Never cuddle: Fore-play and after-play are more aspects of a romantic bond that fosters intimacy. When you cuddle your release oxytocin (the love hormone) and one or both of you run the risk of developing emotions. This will only lead to complications.
- Be willing to experiment: FWBs are helpful to test out new skills or desires in the bedroom. Talk about your fantasies or something they have always wanted to try. Be brave to step out of your comfort zones and enjoy a new level of fun.
- Do what you can to avoid developing emotions: Accomplish this by sticking to your rules. Maintain communication, but don’t spend too much time together. You can be friends and learn more about how they think or their interest. Yet, work to keep your lives separate. This helps sustain your easy, breezy, and playful relationship.
- Never sleepover: Spending the night runs the risk of complicating your connection.
- It’s ok to date people: You both have the right to see and spend time with other people. Your connection is casual with minimal expectations. You both are single and may want to date people. However, if one or both of you become serious about someone it’s time to end your arrangement.
- Jealousy is never ok: You have a no strings attached policy therefore you aren’t exclusive. If you notice one of you is acting in a jealous manner then its time to discuss if feelings are beginning to develop. The goal of FWBs is to be emotionally distant and therefore neither of you should care if the other is going out on dates or sleeping with other people.
- Keep your lives separate: Avoid introducing them to your friends or family. However, it can be helpful if you share your arrangement with one of your best friends, only a single person each of you is close to. This will help you avoid any unpleasant or awkward questions, as well as potential complications both in the present and future.
- Dodge drama: If you have disagreements, keeping your cool is essential. People entering into Friend with Benefit agreement precisely because its low drama. Remember you guys are together to burn off stress and have fun. There’s nothing fun about drama.
- Wrap it up! This relationship is purely temporary. You guys are enjoying this pairing for fun and experimenting. Therefore, its imperative that you ALWAYS use protection to avoid STDs or pregnancy. It only takes one moment of careless to have your lives change forever.
- Always follow the rules! When both sides stick to these guidelines, you will be able to maintain your FWB dynamic without risking anyone getting attached.