Why Your Ex is Texting You After a Breakup

Ex is Texting You After a Breakup

Have you recently broken up with your ex and you don’t understand why they are texting you? There are reasons why your ex might insist on texting you and the interaction that you have with them is important.

Why Your Ex is Texting You

When you have an ex that is texting you, the thing that is most important is how you respond to the text.

You have to consider if you are taking a break and you are choosing to be in a no contact period with them. This is a time when you are having no communication at all.

The other thing you need to consider is if your ex is acting differently than he normally acts when he texts you.

If you understand these things, you will know what is motivating him to text you.

When you are in a no contact period, you need to understand that your ex is going to be as confused as you are, and it might be a while before they start to talk to you. This is normal after a break up.

One of the things is if you are wanting to get your ex back, you will need to know what is motivating them to text you. Here are some reasons:

  • Your ex feels guilty for how the breakup happened.
  • He is lonely and wants someone to take care of him.
  • He is bored.
  • He is angry at you and is mad at how you are acting.
  • He wants to be close to you because you were his friend.
  • He wants to know if you moved on.
  • He wants to talk about the relationship.
  • He may want you back.

Feeling Guilty

Guilt often comes with a breakup and this is a time where you have to remember that your no contact period has to last especially if he cheated on you or really hurt you.

When you get the text, you might at first wonder if he is just texting you like he did after the breakup but if things seem abnormal, you might wonder what this means.

Texts that are full of guilt usually don’t come when the relationship is normal but if there are different situations, the texts might be coming to you so that he can not feel bad about he treated you. This kind of texting might happen to make him not feel guilty and to allow him to forgive himself and move on. Maybe he knows that he messed up and cannot get you back.

If your ex is trying to get rid of his guilt, he might say things such as:

  • I’m sorry that I hurt you.
  • You did not deserve that, and you deserve better.
  • I wish I had never done that to you.


Another reason that an ex might text you is that they are feeling lonely. Many men and women begin getting texts after a couple weeks of having no contact with their ex.

This is usually the time that your ex begins to realize that he is lonely. He might send you good morning or good night tests and do this for a long period of time.

Sometimes your ex will send you this kind of text if you are seeing someone else and he feels especially lonely. One thing is that if he is in a rebound relationship, he probably misses you and doesn’t enjoy the relationship he is no.

These texts could come from the feelings that include both guilt and being lonely and things can be complicated after a breakup.

This kind of behavior will happen when he wants to feel better and if you want to know why he is texting you after breaking up with you, chances are he might show you he is lonely by saying things such as:

  • Hey what’s going on?
  • Hey you.
  • Did I see you out today?


Some exes will begin to text you because they get bored. Once a breakup happens most men will start partying and find this freedom to be exciting. Once he has had a few days, he realizes that his friends and other relationships are not as exciting.

He might begin to do things such as:

  • Watch television.
  • Play games.
  • Get on social media.
  • Go through the drive thru for food.
  • Go to work.

After he does all of these things, he will begin to notice that things aren’t as exciting without you being there and he might start to miss you.

Since time has gone by for a while though, these things that he did on a regular basis no longer have you in them and this might cause him to realize that he feels bored and empty.

Your ex might send you a text because he is bored, and he wants you to make his life better and make him feel better. You might wonder if you should text him back but if he is bored, you need to not respond and you can tell by listening to his texts.

Figure out what the texts mean to you and if you really want to respond.

Rebound Relationship

What if your ex is in a rebound relationship and he is texting you? This probably means that his new girlfriend is not fulfilling his needs and he might already be bored with her.

If you are seeing someone else, you need to make sure that you are not acting the way that he is acting, and you need to be careful about texting him back.

If you want to know if he is bored, his texts might:

  • Have no real meaning.
  • Have nothing interesting in them.
  • Only comes here and there.
  • He only texts when he isn’t doing anything.
  • He doesn’t want to hook up or meet up.


Another text that often happens after a breakup is a text that shows that he is angry with you for breaking up with him.

If you are on a no contact period with him, he might be mad first that you broke up with him and second that you are ignoring him.

His anger might have simmered for a long time and he is finally deciding to text you to tell you about it. If your ex normally doesn’t get mad about things, chances are that he is holding on to the feelings that he is having about the breakup and he feels rude.

Confusing Texts

If your ex is sending you texts that are mad, you might see him do this for a while before he stops. Do you feel confused about his texts and do you feel that he is trying to confuse you with what he wants?

If your ex is testing you in anger or if you had broken his heart or cheated on him, this happens, and he lost control of the relationship and it can cause resentment.

If you get a text that says, “why?” then chances are that he is upset with you and his feelings for you are still there.

When your ex is super upset with you or you have broken his heart, chances are that he will be angry and here are some things he might say to you:

  • Blaming things to blame you for the relationship not working.
  • Being very upset.
  • Says he doesn’t want to ever talk to you again.
  • Telling you that he hates you.
  • Puts you down.


Another big reason that exes will text after a breakup is because he wants to have sex with you. This is something that often happens after a breakup because he is comfortable with you and if you are wondering if you should text them back, you need to think it all through.

When you look at what your ex is really wanting, you have to remember that chances are that he just wants sex. When you break up with someone, you are connected to them if you have had sex with them. This is something that becomes an urge, and your boyfriend will stay excited about your body for a long time.

Sexual Urges

You have to be very careful if your ex is texting you for sex. When you do this, chances are that you will never get back together with them, if that is what you are wanting.

When you have sex with your ex, and they do not have to put any kind of effort into showing you that they care for you then you are just a booty call and you are causing the situation to be worse.

Here are some things he might say if he just wants sex:

  • He texts you when it is late.
  • He only texts after he has been drinking.
  • He is sexual when he texts you.
  • He asks you for pictures.
  • He wants you to come over.


When you have a no contact with your ex, this can leave your ex feeling lonely and cause him to feel that he has no one. If you were friends with your ex, and you should have been if you were dating, then you not only lost a partner but a friend, and so did he.

One great thing is that if a guy has you in the friend’s zone then the physical relationship that you had proved that he was connected with you and you had physical chemistry. This could mean he wants you back.

If you want to know if he misses you and that is why he is texting you, his texts might say things like:

  • He misses his friend.
  • You remind him of his sister.
  • He talks to you like you are a guy.
  • He tells you about his problems.
  • He asks how he should handle his dating problems.

Moving On

An ex will often contact you because they want to know if you are moving on faster than they are. They do not want you to find someone else and give up on them before they get over you.

This can happen if they are on your social media pages and you seem to be living a happy life. Every time your ex sees this, chances are that his heart hurts and so he will text you to let you know how he feels.

When he texts you, he wants to know if you have feelings left for him.

Holding You Down

If your ex is texting you after you break up and he talks about how good his life is, then he might just be seeing if you still care and if you still want him.

The texts he sends will be a plan for him to see if you miss him as much as he misses you.

If he wants to know if you have moved on, he might say things like:

  • Asking you if you are dating again.
  • Telling you he looked at your dating profile.
  • Seems nervous about what he says to you.
  • Wants you to be jealous.


Maybe you and your ex lived together, and you owe each other money, or you have made arrangements about the pets or the furniture.

If your ex-texts you about this or if you have children together, they might send you a message to talk about visitation or he might be texting you because the breakup is permanent.

If you wanted to get back with your ex, you would not try to make an arrangement and you would stop it as long as you could so that you could talk to them and see them more. If they are ready to move on, this is the kind of text you might get.

If he is ready to move on, he might text you things such as:

  • Wanting to talk about the kids.
  • Wanting to talk about bill payment arrangements
  • Doesn’t want to talk to you in person.

Wanting You Back

Some texts come because he realizes that he has hurt you and misses you and he wants to get back together. An ex can send you a message at any time after you have finished your no contact situation.

When your ex-texts you and wants to get back together, sometimes they will come right out and ask you and sometimes they will just tell you that they need to talk to you about something important.

An ex might show that he wants to be back with you if he keeps texting you over and over again and if he talks about you to your friends or family members.

Here are some things he might say if he wants to get back together with you:

  • Asks you how your day is going.
  • Tells you that he has talked to your family or friends.
  • Wants to meet up with you and talk.
  • Wants to ask you a question.
  • Brings up jokes that only you two understand.
  • Complements you.
  • Asks you if you want to get back together.


When your ex and you break up, it can leave you both confused and sometimes he will start to text you and it might confuse you. You have to make sure that you know what is motivating him to text you and what you should do.

If you wonder how long you should wait before you respond to his texts, there is no real answer. The history that you have will be deep and if you want to answer him, you might should give yourself time to know what you want.

When your ex-texts you and tells you that he has made a mistake, you have to be careful about getting back into the relationship right away. Remember that the emotions will be strong and that when there is a lot of feelings behind the emotions that he might feel that he has made a mistake before he thinks it over. Make sure that you are taking things slow.

Do not be fast to respond to texts that your ex is sending you. He might be doing this to see what is going on with you, but he also might be wanting you back. Chances are that your boyfriend is just leading you on and you have to make sure that you know this and that you don’t get hurt again.

If your ex is texting you after you ask him to leave you alone, it is probably because he cannot get over you. He knows that he needs to get over you and you need time to heal. Sometimes people have strong emotions, and they have a hard time moving on. If this is happening to you, just keep ignoring him and do not play into his behavior.

Sometimes when your ex breaks up with you and he starts texting you, he might have second thoughts of what he did. You have to make sure that you are confirming that his heart has changed and that he is not just leading you on or leading you in toxic relationships.

An ex that texts you and tells you that he needs space is someone that is wanting to have their freedom but to keep you on a chain with them. Make sure that you are ready to break this and to move on with your own life.

If your ex-texts you and tells you that you need to contact them back, do not let them be in control of what you do. If you are in a no contact situation, stay with it. If this is an emergency, then you can respond but ask him if it is.

Having someone that was your friend and past lover can be hard. He may have a hard time moving on and he might still be wanting to know if you like him or not. Some exes will message or text you so that they can keep tabs on you. If this upsets you then you need to ask him to not text you anymore or change your number or block him.

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